Do you believe in the concept of a soulmate? Do you believe there is one person for each of us? Do you believe in the concept of a Twin Soul?
Not anymore. I think we have several “soulmates” and I’m mad at Disney and metaphysics for making me believe otherwise.
People are miserable.
Why are people miserable? Why can’t we be honest with each other? Why can’t we handle the truth? Why can’t we accept each other? Where does the concept of a “soulmate” derive from and why do we continue to look for The One person that we think will unlock the key to our very soul?
I mean, does that even exist? What fantasyland are we living in?
Romantic relationships usually start out great and gain speed quickly. We have fun exploring each other. We learn what the other likes, what they dislike. We learn what we like together and we learn our differences. We crave one another. We sing songs about it. We write poems about it. We savor every smell, every moment as if it were our last. We never want them to end. We fall in love. We savor it. But something happens…everything changes.
do things just eventually expire when it’s time?
I don’t believe in soul mates either. Not the Disney kind, anyway. I came across this a while back while studying zen…
“From the Zen view, a soul mate is not someone outside of yourself. It’s not an object you find that will make you whole magically. The longing for a soul mate is not ultimately for a person, but a longing to end the suffering and separation an individual feels. So, in Zen practice we learn how to end the suffering. As we do this we find that everyone may be our soul mate—or that we’re with our soul mate right now.
We may even greet our soul mate when we see the sun shine through the window or the children playing on the streets. This is not a rejection of human relationships, but when love is turned into a substance to provide security or end suffering, this kind of love is considered counterfeit. When we think we’re going to have a perfect situation with any person, inevitably, we will be disappointed and hurt. Life and relationships are about one thing only: change, change, change. As many people live lonely lives, searching for love or desperately trying to cling to what they’ve found, they become hope-less about ever finding fulfillment. No matter how many people they know, or relationships they have been in, as time passes and change happens they feel fundamentally alone.” -Brenda Shoshanna PhD
I love this message. Thank you for taking the time to share. I’ve always felt I’ve had many soulmates. People and animals. It’s most definitely a connection with someone or something that is indescribable and out of the comprehensions of this world. I also believe some people have the gift of seeing things that others cannot. I’m grateful I have that gift.
Example: Before I moved to South Carolina I stopped in Jacksonville to see a friend. We decided to eat breakfast at a small diner. Our server was a tiny red-headed, spunk female. She and I hit it off RIGHT away. I usually feel uncomfortable around new settings around new people but I had to know our server whose name turned out to be, Amber. We started talking about our passion, photography, and I asked her to go with me the next day to the two photo shoots I had. We exchanged numbers and the next day she not only accompanied me to both photo shoots, but we ended up spending the entire day together until it got dark and I had to head home. We talk weekly. She’s my soulmate and love.
That’s an amazing story and I am glad you like the message. I believe I have a similar gift when it comes to reading and seeing people. Did I read somewhere that you are a therapist? People like us would probably make great therapists.
My masters degree is in counseling but I decided not to obtain licensure, mostly due to my sensitivities. I’m still trying to figure out how I can fit in that realm without being overwhelmed.
I want to get a masters degree in counseling or a related field but my mind takes over and convinces me I cannot do it. Maybe one day.
Maybe the delay means it isn’t meant to be?
Also, if you DO go that route check into an MSW instead of a Masters in Counseling. You’ll have more opportunities. You could also teach at the 4-year level with an MSW. 🙂
I didn’t mean to read this before tomorrow but couldn’t help it. I don’t believe in soulmates at all, except as something you create…I mean if you assume a deer outside your window is your soulmate then you identify with that deer and your soul will mate with it’s…except I don’t believe in souls…but I am definitely soul mates with the dust that came in my window this morning, because that was some Lion King type shit. But what I really wanted to say is have you read Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman? There’s a chapter talking about Jon Cusack movies that deals with what you started with “I’m mad at Disney.” Really good you’ll love it.
I haven’t heard of it. I put it in my Amazon wishlist so one day when I have a real job and real expendable income I can purchase it. 🙂
If you think dust is pretty you should look into reading about the Dust Bowl. Simba’s entire kingdom is in those poor people’s bedrooms.
Ha! There was a patch of dust in my grandparents’ lawn and when I would run over it with the lawn mower it would get all over the place and I always told myself that must be what the dust bowl is like. I was in fifth grade then and we had just learned about the dust bowl. And now my favorite Mumford and Sons song is Dustbowl Dance, but there isn’t much about dust in there.
I didn’t learn about the Dust Bowl until I took a class titled Disasters, Civilizations and the Environment which was co-taught by a Sociologist and a Biologist. Very cool class.
When I was in grad school our teacher was explaining a type of study and was trying to give an example of this particular one. I said “kinda like the Dust Bowl” and she looked at me like I was crazy. (story of my life) So did everyone else in the classroom. Later, when it was time to present our research I started my presentation with a mini Dust Bowl lesson. Priceless.
And speaking of Mumford…
That reminds me of the time I told my girlfriend how to pronounce porchetta (it’s pork etta not porch etta) and she then confidently ordered it from the server only to have him respond, oh, the porch etta? In both cases these people should know, but because they are in a sort of power situation you end up looking like the idiot. I liked that song, the video was mad creepy, but what’s that got to do with Mumford? Was this their group before they decided to go folksy?
Some collaboration they did with this chic. It’s on an album that can only be purchased on iTunes.
[…] I read a blog post about Soul Mates last night on The Sensitive Storm and it made me think of this essay from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa […]