Intense

by sensitivestorm

Today I’ve been thinking about my place in life and what I’m most grateful for.

I am grateful for resiliency. I think some part of resiliency is innate and the other part is captured through the tarot card The Fool.

00-The-Fool

He’s just walking along with his little dog at his heels. He seems content and peaceful. Happy. Meanwhile he is looking up and we can see he’s about ready to fall off the edge of a cliff. His little doggie is trying to warn him but he’s too caught up in his journey that he just keeps walking.

Years ago I had a friend named Karl that would always say “the Universe provides”

I thought it odd he seemed so content trekking across the country with just a carload of stuff. He slept at Flying J’s scattered about on lost highways. He claimed to be happy but I didn’t think he was. He seemed lost. A few years later he managed to make it to Ohio. He sent me a video of the apartment he shared with someone he met online. He bought a scooter and said he loved the changing seasons. A while later he decided to travel it to Alaska to work at a lodge for the “summer”. After many many hours in the car and a lot of driving he eventually made it to the lodge. He was excited to get started but after one week everyone learned the water was contaminated and the lodge had to be closed down.

I don’t know where he is now but I know one thing. He was right. The Universe does provide. We generally can’t see what’s in front of us. Not really. We plan and save and pack things away always playing pretend. Pretending that we know what’s next. Praying. Hoping. NEEDING to know what’s next.

But…

what really IS next?

Do you really know and can you control it? Is The Fool really a fool? He looks to me like he’s enjoying his path, walking along with the sun on his shoulder. His beloved pet is with him. He’s holding a white rose, symbolizing purity and innocence. Perhaps in his case, nativity.

But…

what can we really predict? We have the rug pulled out from under us all the time. In one flash of a moment, everything is lost. A death. A divorce. A job loss. We can’t pick and choose our misery.

I see The Fool as being a card of staying present. I see it as a reminder of impermanence.

It’s about being aware of the fact that there may be a cliff just around the corner but to keep whistling with your head held up high feeling the sun on your shoulder.

The people that take chances are the happy ones. They’ve accepted that sometimes “bad” things just happen but they keep on walking. They don’t mourn the past or wish things were different. They don’t play the victim.

These are the Karl’s of the world. They have less anxiety, less stress. They are less self medicating. Less self-deprecating. Overall less suffering. They decide to drive to Alaska because they want the experience. They live in the moment.

I’m finding myself at a crossroads and instead of becoming a victim, I’m determined to take the path of The Fool.

“… If you suffer, it is not because things are impermanent. It is because you believe things are permanent. When a flower dies, you don’t suffer much, because you understand that flowers are impermanent. But you cannot accept the impermanence of your beloved one, and you suffer deeply when she passes away. If you look deeply into impermanence, you will do your best to make her happy right now. Aware of impermanence, you become positive, loving, and wise. Impermanence is good news. Without impermanence, nothing is possible. With impermanence, every door is open for change. Instead of complaining, we should say, ‘Long live impermanence!’. Impermanence is an instrument for our liberation.” ~ Impermanence Sutra

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