I thought I’d share some images from my iPhone that documents what has happened so far since I lost my biological father on July 4th. Yes, things have been unsettling and sad but as I mentioned in a previous post I’ve found ways to emote and I’ve seen some happy things along the way. Shared tender moments that solidify meaning and purpose. These are normal day to day things that reassure me that I’ll be okay.
July 5th, I was invited to Stephanie’s house for dinner but I didn’t really want to go (only because I felt blank) but I went. I’m glad I did. Steph’s parents recently returned from Italy and we had a beautiful dinner that was inspired by their trip. And of course, cake…and wine. Below is a photo of the only thing I could really muster up for a birthday gift the day after I found out my father died.
Funny how I subconsciously conjured up “well, anyone that’s alive” on my message to her.
Before I left for North Carolina I met with my good friend Abhishek. He suggested, well, demanded rather, I come over and join him for dinner and a photo walk. We did both. At the end of the evening he took this photo of me.
The day after that I was still awaiting word from my NC family regarding details of funeral arrangements. So, I drove to my favorite beach, took photos and meditated.
And so the next day began my journey. From home to Winston Salem.
I have to mention that without my amazing friend and companion, Ron, I wouldn’t have been able to make this journey so simply and without complication. He gave me a shoulder to cry on and someone to rely on.
I loved the notepads I found on the nightstands and for some reason I held onto this rock the entire trip.
My sister, Courtney, gave me the rose after the service. After I got back to Jacksonville I walked out onto the pier under the full moon and peeled each petal off, offering them to the ocean. The Atlantic Ocean. It’s the one my father drown in.
The evening after the funeral I was drained and needed some fresh air. Ron and I found a Thai restaurant downtown Winston-Salem. It was the first time I’d ever eaten at a Thai place and it was wonderful. Forgive the blurry photo.
We stopped in Savannah on the way back and ate near the river.
This is a photo of my collection of clippings from my trip. The rose from my sister is included.
Since we got back from the trip I’ve found a lot of quiet things to do. Drawing being one of them. I also realized how easy it is to see God in just one single feather.
I drew this and text it to a friend.
I drew this one day while I was angry.
And I drew this for my sister, Courtney. Her birthday is at the end of this month.
Notice I changed the shape of it’s head.
I like how it turned out. When I started, I thought I’d give it a Mardi Gras theme. That didn’t work out but I’m pleased that the background somehow looks like a forest of trees.
The last thing I did was trace these two puzzle pieces on my art pad while trying to escape the group while attending a small gathering at my friend Jordan’s house. *waves to Jordan* She invited Ron and I over this part Sunday while her husband entertained some of his friends that belong to the Wounded Warrior Project. If you don’t know what that is you should Google it. It has to do with combat wounded veterans and her husband is one. Anyway, the puzzle pieces are from her 3 year olds Disney puzzle.
After I drew mine I wanted someone else to draw in the other one so I convinced Ron to join me in my seclusion. I put the final touches on it.
A little closer.
As I was finishing the above puzzle pieces Madison came over and wanted to help. So, I drew two more puzzle pieces and let her draw one and I drew the other. Here’s how that one turned out.
And those are some memories that are contained in my iPhone.